Lessons in Life or Life’s lessons?
My Lovely Mum
Hi, if you have been reading my blogs you will know I usually talk about children’s development, but today I thought I would shake it up a bit and share some thoughts on the lessons life teaches us in general.
My desire to exchange knowledge, understanding and perspective with other people runs very deep in me. When life, or in my case chronic ill health, stops you doing something that you love, you initially feel its outstretched hand all over your life. It is pervasive; it feels like it is trying to get into your very soul and to redefine you. However I have always been up for a good fight, (though maybe more now in the mental rather than physical sense :-) ) and so I am just reinventing myself, finding new and exciting interests and am really enjoying blogging.
Strangely enough there is also a very positive side when life challenges you. All of a sudden you stop sweating the small stuff, you see your priorities so much more clearly and you focus on seizing the opportunities to enjoy life more whole heartedly. It is this idea of perspective I have been contemplating especially the lessons my mum tried to teach me.
When we are young we are often unaware how much perspective defines how and what we feel and how and what we do. In recent years helping people develop this understanding has become the basis of Cognitive Behaviour Therapy so it should not be underestimated.
My mum was an amazing teacher about life; even if as a teenager I never fully appreciated it! One of her favourite sayings when things went wrong during these turbulent years was “This too will pass”.
When you are a teenager and to some extent throughout your life, the present moment that you are in is all important. Every decision seems vital, every knock back completely devastating - especially if it is an emotional one - and equally every high is the top of the mountain. However, although living like this is often fun and exhilarating, it can also be mentally and physically exhausting.
On reflection I appreciate my mum with her wise words was trying to give me some sense of perspective, something that is so hard to achieve at any age, especially when you are caught in middle of a situation. However, she persevered, if not always successfully, to help me understand that although my present emotions seemed to tell me this was my whole life, it was in reality only a small part of it. The raw pain I felt from my first lost love or not achieving exactly what I set out to do, would not always be this all-encompassing agony. As hard as it seemed to believe, in time it would begin to fade, lose its importance and become just a distant memory. Mum wanted me to understand that new opportunities and experiences would step forward to take the place of the empty void I was feeling. She wanted me to understand that life is an ever changing feast.
Unfortunately my mum is no longer physically with me. However these simple words still have had a profound effect on my life and so in some small way she still is. At times we all need to reflect on them and remember to not to get bogged down in the present but to look forward to and plan for a different and hopefully brighter future.